Self love journey

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It seems like when people hit a certain age the desire to find themselves increases..some people already know with little complications.. There’s certain things i knew and loved about myself definitely…i dont think i ever reached self hate…so i cannot touch on how that may feel like…however, there are things i didnt like and i bashed myself about them a lot… So i started my self love journey about a year ago…

I made a list where i was brutally honest with myself about my character the good and the bad…i involved close friends and family in taking the johari window test (i wrote on it previously on my blog) to see what they saw in me that i might not see in myself… Over time i analysed their view in correspondence to my personal list… My good outweighed my bad…

I began to do more of the things i enjoyed and i saw my year transform…ive had major set backs but i didnt bash myself like i would have in the past because i was now more aware of how i treat myself … I let myself feel and express more openly and those around me to my surprise accepted it… And the ones that didnt did not seem to matter as much as they had before…

I spoke to myself how i speak to my friends…truthfully but more compassionate (just because its me doesn’t mean i should be harsh)… I made drafts of how i even wanted to be treated and what treatment id accept from others..because it followed that if i truelly loved myself i wouldnt let certain treatment continue…

I had an up and down relationship with God(due to my own inconsistency).. But i acknowledged the need to know the roots in order to understand the fruit born from the tree… I needed to understand his views for my life…and also understand and be able to identify the face of love… So that i can take that and apply it to myself.

In relation to others (because i happen to share this world with others )…if i can love myself better i can love others better.. I can use myself as practice then extend externally…because at the end of the day “I enjoy the journey of self love but i still want to be loved by someone other than myself” (horaceo jones)…

I dont think this journey ever ends because with each day and challenge i learn new things about myself which i have to learn to love…i may have many things i have to cover but i wont rob myself of the opportunity to congratulate myself on how far i’ve come…  💜

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